Internal Vignettes
by Bunnyluv611
Summary: A large array of vignettes in no particular order. Focusing mostly on the love pangs characters experience over Lily Evans, sometimes over other characters. Please enjoy! Rated T for a swear word or two.
1. Deserving

Welcome to my mind, filled with short snippets of a charcters thoughts or feelings involving someone they love. _All under 250 words! _These are in no particular order, and at no time will I blatantly give away the names of characters, please enjoy guessing. I enjoyed writing these, and I hope you have a bit of fun reading them! Please let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturng of them!

**Deserving**

He walked briskly passed the rusty swings that swung eerily in the autumn wind, past the tilted slide whose bolts had rusted throughout the years, and through the thick brush that held so many memories, until he stood upon the sidewalk of a street much nicer than his own. Staying hidden behind a thick tree trunk and his unkempt, long, black hair, he looked up at the second story window on the right side of one of the meticulously neat houses. Inside the room of that window a girl his age was twirling about, her red hair flowing, and she was smiling in glee at a piece of parchment she caressed in her hand. Something she held glinted in the sunlight and caught his eye, and he too smiled, a sad, lovesick smile, because she deserved it. She had everything she wanted, and he had lost her when she was the only one who believed in him, the only one who gave him a chance.


	2. Unrequited

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Unrequited**

He thought she didn't notice. He only looked when he was certain she wasn't; his shaggy blonde hair was his protection as he stole lovesick glances at her radiating auburn hair and shining green eyes. What he wouldn't give to catch her eye again, but he couldn't, for he knew that being caught staring was worse than the staring itself. She swished her hair and unconsciously flicked it behind her shoulders and out of her beautiful face. Upon her unexpected movement, he quickly averted his gaze and tried his best to refocus his attention on the professor, but what he didn't know was that as he hurriedly looked away, heart broken, she turned to look at him with the same feeling of unrequited love throbbing through her veins and reaching out through her eyes. Gods, if he only knew.


	3. Spider Web

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturng of them!

**Spider Web**

"Sev," she whispered, her eyes pleading, "please don't do this." He frowned at her, but upon catching her gaze flicked his head to the corridor wall. "I know we've," she took a deep, shuddering breath, "we've gone our separate ways, but," The burning sensation behind his eyes had to go away. His eyes wandered and found a spider's web. As her voice carried on, wracking his bones with sorrow, he watched as the spider devoured an unlucky fly that had got caught. He was so similar to the fly, caught up in being Lily's companion. He had known it was too good to remain, but he had kept going, as if a thin, invisible spider web was not in his pathway. And now, now he was trapped in a different web – a tangled web full of lies, and deceit, and the mad struggle for power.

Lord Voldemort was his master.

"I can't let you, Sev, I can't." Lily's voice drifted through, "You still mean… I want… you will hurt yourself and others you'd never want to hurt. Please, Sev." Tears sparkled in her eyes, and for once she let them fall before him. They made salty tracks along her beautiful face, and it took all of his willpower not to break and promise her everything and the universe. But it was too late, the spider had found him, and he was slowly being devoured.

Lord Voldemort was his master.


	4. Arguing

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Arguing**

He loved to fight with her. She was so passionate and opinionated, that if he could, he would fight with her all day, every day. He loved the way her green eyes shone and flashed with power, the way her cheeks flushed with indignation as he grinned cheekily at her. He watched, with intense adoration, as she argued her point against him. He loved it until:

"I hate you, Potter! I've never felt anything but pure hatred for you, and that's all I ever will feel! Merlin, the day you die will be the happiest day of my life." He hated how she made him feel so much love and so much unbearable pain at one time. Damn her fiery temper.


	5. Trust

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Trust**

"Why didn't you tell me?" She had a stony expression on her face, yet her eyes held only sorrow, and, was that love? He stared at her from over the top of his book.

"I beg your pardon?" He was hoping, begging even, that she hadn't found out; that it was still just the Marauders

_And Snape_ he thought darkly.

"I've known for an entire year now. I was hoping you trusted me enough to tell me so that I wouldn't have to confront you like this." Why was it that he could always make her cry?

"I didn't want to lose you." he whispered ashamedly. Her tears ceased.

"I will always love you, Remus." Realization sunk in and her cheeks colored to a beautiful crimson, "As a friend, always love– _friend._" She smiled weakly. He was glad she had stopped him. When given the chance his mind, his thoughts, were his greatest weakness.


	6. Labels

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Labels**

"I hate labels" she announced plopping down next to him on the Gryffindor Common room couch. He smiled at her pouty expression and placed his potions essay on a table.

"Care to elaborate, love." Had he really just called her that?

"Potter is so," she growled unintelligibly. He breathed in relief, she was too aggravated. "he's just," taking a deep breath she drew her feet up and turned to face him. Her expression had changed to a look of deep thought. "I know he's your mate and all, but he's such a, a bloody prick." He chuckled and placed a hand over hers.

"I know what you mean sometimes." He told her, smiling. She returned the smile gratefully.

"He always says I'm his, and every one at the bloody table says I'm _Potter's girl_ or _James' girl_." Her face darkened. "I have a bloody name!" she shouted to no one in particular and caused a few first years to scurry away. He laughed again.

"You're Lily to me." He told her sincerely. "You always have been, and always will be." Her face brightened at this.

"You can always make me feel better, Remus. I'm glad I have you as a friend. She left the couch in favor of the window seat, but before she walked away, she placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Thank you." She would never be "James' girl" to him.


	7. If Only

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**If Only**

The moonlight dancing across the lake's surface taunted him; she could see it in his silvery eyes that almost matched the round orb in the sky, his one fear. What it must be like to transform once a month into, what was considered by most, a monster. It scared her. The cold evening air whipped about the two figures standing side by side on the shore. She didn't want him to have to feel such pain alone. Out of impulse, her hand snaked down his arm and entwined their fingers, surprising him.

"Two more days," she whispered, her emerald eyes glistening, "I can't let you do it alone again."

_If only she knew_

"Sometimes, Lily, the true friend is the one who waits behind to make sure I'm alright when I return." He rubbed the inside of her palm with his thumb.

_If only it could be like this everyday_

He couldn't stop her, and even if he could have, he knew he wouldn't, as she flung her arms around his neck and buried her face into his patchy jumper. Her sobs echoed across the darkening grounds; he hoped to Merlin that James wasn't nearby. Cautiously he wrapped his arms about her and breathed her in.

_This is what friends are for_

If only.


	8. Valuable

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Valuable**

"You love her." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He gulped and felt his face heat up. Without looking up from the large text he had in his lap he slowly shook his head. He knew who the looming form above him was talking about, but how he could have guessed was beyond his comprehensibility.

"Moony," his mercurial gaze mimicked his warning tone and he could feel his friend's gaze boring into his bent head. Maybe if he focused hard enough on the line he was reading, it would all go away, all the feeling, all the pain.  
"You're mistaken, Pads," He laughed squeakily and unconvincingly, "He's Prongs' girl. I and the rest of the world know that." He quickly turned the page, cutting himself on the sharp edge, but not caring the least.

"That shouldn't stop you." It was whispered, but he heard it all the same, and his head snapped up to meet the gaze of his stormy eyed friend.

"Are you–"

"I'm not saying that it's right, Moony, but I'm saying that love is a powerful thing. Who's more valuable to you?" He shook his head, conflicted, at Sirius' retreating form, if he only knew the answer to that.


	9. The Doe

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**The Doe**

She was _his_, and after their fight he knew she would be, yet still the thought of it butchered his insides. He hated himself for it, he hated _him_ for it. He tried to remain void of emotion, tried to keep his black eyes as empty, emotionless pools, but every time he saw them walking together his heart was wrenched from his chest yet again. He had to stop this feeling. He was with the Dark Lord now, he had chosen the winning side in the war, yet if could, he would give it all up just to have her back again.

Standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, he frowned as pain throbbed inside his chest. Students called her 'James' girl.' The Marauders called her 'Prongs' girl.' He, sighing morosely he weakly cast his patronous thinking of the day she defended him against _him _on the Hogwart's Express, he called her 'the doe' just to remind himself that the person causing all of his misery was her mate.


	10. Emerald Pools

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Emerald Pools**

At first, he couldn't look him in the eye. His innocent, emerald pools of eyes that were so much like hers, it hurt. But he trained himself, for looking at the messy mop of hair on is head reminded him too much of the one man he loathed the most who had died with the woman he had loved the most. Life was unfair – he had a book full of memories to prove that– and pain was power. The mantra running through his head is what kept him going, fighting protecting the son of the man he loathed the most. "For Lily, for Lily, all for Lily, only for Lily."

_This is it so far! Please Read and Review. Criticism and compliments are always welcome!_

_I promise that I'll update...one day_


	11. Crying

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Crying**

It was almost as if he was young again, hiding behind their tool shed, waiting for her to come play with him. His one true friend. Now, at 5' 6", the rubble of a house left before him told him otherwise. A baby's cry pierced the silence that had engulfed him and he whipped his head around to see a huge form appearing a ways down the street.

_Hagrid_

Coming for the baby, the one being that had every survived the Killing Curse. Their son called out once again, and peering from behind the shed he could make out the dead body of a man about his age. Seeing him sprawled on the floor only reminded him that he was too late.

There was no cooing of a mother to the crying baby. She too was gone, and there was no more room for imagining: the Potters had fallen. What he wouldn't give to have her still alive, rocking her baby in Godric's Hallow. For the first time in thirteen years, salty tear tracks stained his sallow face.


	12. Alone Together

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Alone Together**

He was running. Feet pounding against the uneven forest floor, play clothes snagging on prickly branches, heart pounding out of his chest in fear. He chanced a look backwards and his stomach plummeted as he wished he hadn't. Yellow gleaming eyes on him, saliva dripping from the fangs as the beast let out a snarl. He was almost home, if he could just make it out of the thicket. Then, he felt its raggedy breath on his shoulder, he screamed.

"Remus!" his eyes flew open and slowly the prefect's lounge came into focus, _she_ came into focus. He was sweating, panting, nearly crying, and she saw all of that. He was pulled into a warm hug. She rubbed his back and whispered soothing words, calming him as he buried his face into the crook made by her neck and shoulder.

"Nightmare?" She murmured, lightly stoking his hair as quiet sobs escaped his mouth. She felt him tense and knew he was quickly thinking of another excuse. "I don't want an answer; you don't have to tell me." He released a shaky breath and burrowed further into her embrace. Alone together on the sofa, he was eternally grateful that James wasn't a prefect.


	13. Ticking

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Ticking**

He was always waiting for her.

It took four years– four years of obsession, of infatuation, of the constant pain of rejection– then, finally, she agreed to give him a chance.

Now, he was waiting again, in the Heads' Common Room, as the grandfather clock ticked out the seconds, the minutes. He hadn't minded waiting four years for her to come around, but this waiting, this was worse than any unforgivable curse. She was already half an hour late for their first date when she was always on time, if not early, for everything else.

_Maybe she's taking the time to make herself beautiful, ta, she already is._

Eight 'o'clock inched by and still he stood alone, the grandfather clock behind him ticking out the seconds, the minutes. Like a timed bomb– taunting him, mocking him as its hands circled yet again.

The portrait burst open at nine, and a redheaded witch stumbled into the room, her book back slung over her arm and a healthy glow to her cheeks. Their eyes caught and she could immediately feel the anger radiating from him. He was infuriated: she had forgotten, and judging by her appearance, she didn't care. All the time and effort he had put into making her see. She slowly made her way towards her dormitory, her eyes rarely leaving his. He couldn't hold it in, all the anger, all the constant pain of rejection that had resurfaced.

"You weren't worth waiting for!" he shouted, his anger voiced in his accusation. She stopped with her hand on her door. Shaking her head slowly, she gave him a sad smile, "Now you see; I never was."

The door closed behind her with a quiet click, leaving him in anguish in front of the grandfather clock, as it ticked out the seconds, the minutes, that he would be waiting for her to give him another chance.


	14. Light Bulb

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Light Bulb**

Sometimes, he wondered if it was worth it: swearing off all girls but her, though she was so intent on never giving him a chance. But that was always forgotten when she would unconsciously let her guard down and a smile, _directed towards him_, would slip by. Or, they'd be doing their evening rounds and their hands would brush and her cheeks would color. He was growing on her, slipping into her thoughts, her dreams. Midway through the year the light bulb clicked on, and when their hands brushed again as they walked down the dark, dank corridors one evening, she entwined their fingers and held on tightly, confidently.

"Lumos," he whispered and aimed his wand at their hands, just to make sure it was real and that it wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Smiling slightly, she grabbed his wand with her free hand.

"Nox." There was something entrancing about kissing in the dark.


	15. Dying

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Knowledge**

It hurt more than he expected. Not being hit by the curse, but the knowledge that he would never return. The last thing he remembered seeing were her perfect lips, that he had caressed so often with his own, screaming his name. It felt as if death had socked the wind out of him and he had never regained his breath.

He didn't know where he was now, being dead was a new experience. He could only register that a single form was walking, no, floating towards him. Before the person could reach him a woman appeared at his side as if she had apparated there, but he knew better. Her pink hair was too familiar, there was no way…

"Dora! No! Keep fighting! Go back!" Tears cascading down her cheeks, she cupped his face and quickly quieted him.

"It's over, love. The killing curse, it–" Her strength failed her as she choked on the words and crumpled into his arms. "I couldn't go on without you, I couldn't keep fighting." she sniffled loudly and then wailed, "but Teddy!"

It had been Sirius walking towards him. "Hoping I wouldn't see you this soon, mate."


	16. Counting

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, now I'm tearing up, I am not the owner of all the magical characters of Harry Potter, but please do enjoy my torturing of them!

**Counting**

The knife sat glinting in front of her, taunting her from the dusty table top. She, in turn, peered back through wisps of mousy brown hair. This was what it had come down to. Their relationship _had_ pulled her away from her family and friends. Now she was left alone feeling lifeless.

She had known he was gone for good after two months of waiting—there was no more hope left that he would return.

She needed to feel something. If it was a pain different than the emotional distress and turmoil she'd been going through, so be it. She quickly casted a silencing charm around the room. Had she not, the blood curdling scream that followed would have sounded suspicious to their muggle neighbors.

Blood trickled down her arm in a ragged pattern and drop by drop formed a puddle on the floor. The physical pain a flesh wound could provide only served to remind her that she was living her nightmare.

Two months, twenty-five days, eleven hours, forty-two minutes, and two full moons alone in their dreary apartment, but who was counting?

_A little angsty, eh. This one was kinda based off the line from _Iris_ by the Googoo dolls "You bleed just to know you're alive." Please R&R_


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